I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize