I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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