I just threw up on my dentist
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Less talking, more tequila
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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