just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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