hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
