Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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