It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
