we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
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I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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