also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
