This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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