i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
