Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
