If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I love you. Go after that dick
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
