Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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