so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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