i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
