i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
