; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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