As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
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you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
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