Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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