he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
