Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
