Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
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test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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