No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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