i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
