Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
