Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
