Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
BRING THE BAGELS
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
