Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
