Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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