On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I faked an abortion last night.
I can text with my tongue
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
