Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
my poor anus
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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