One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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