I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
