Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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