Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
