Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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