Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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