I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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