stop calling my apartment porn island.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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