talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
