Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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