I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
