I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
