i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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