Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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