I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
