My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You dont lie about slip and slides
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
