Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
