Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
