I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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