He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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