i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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