i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
