I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
