i just google imaged poop.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
