PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
