White coat. Heels.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I need moral support for this bender
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
