when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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