You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
