Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
